My body

11/30/15

all of my love i give to my cat because I do not have to fear that he will leave me if I’m being clingy i can be vulnerable without fear that he’ll judge me i joke that i don’t need a boyfriend because he greets me when I get home because when I sleep he is in my arms i am not alone

my walls have backups that spring into place i wonder how much of my shit you will take before you leave like the ones in your wake

i always joke that I want to be with girls if I want my heart to break and guys if I want to be bored i am the girl who poured over romance novels and listened to love songs a fling without feelings is not where my heart belongs

i withdraw into myself because of all the times i’ve been wronged i’ve said yes to sex when I should have said no i couldn’t answer if it was for him or for me what I know is that you felt the need to remind me that I’m pretty when you admired the curves of my body

i would say that being kind wins more points with me but I am hesitant to trust the kindness coming from your lips that I stifle with a kiss beauty is a tragedy and I don’t know if I am wanted for me or the way that I look please don’t praise what you see because I know the words like a well-worn book the last time a man whispered sweet nothings in my ear i cried because creativity took a nose dive

if I pierce my face will it make me less pretty will the men that I attract be less shitty

my apartment is a cave in which I hide my body is a cage and I’m trapped inside my larynx is the gatekeeper that holds the key my voice is beginning to be set free with it I demand respect because as a woman i know I haven’t gotten it yet.

-Riley Quinn Farmery

#writing #poetry #dating #sex #woman #romance